Buckle up, because Meghan Markle's latest venture is a saga more tangled than a daytime soap opera plot.
Imagine this: Meghan, Duchess of Doing-It-All, sets her sights on conquering the world of lifestyle brands. Yes, that crowded space overflowing with every celebrity and their pet offering wellness advice. But hold onto your hats, dear readers, because Meghan isn't just dipping her toes in the water – she's doing a cannonball into the deep end, without a lifeguard in sight.
Meghan launches a website for her brand-new venture, American Riviera Orchard. Sounds fancy, right? Well, hold your applause, because there's a catch: no CEO, no staff, and it seems, no coherent business plan. It's just Meghan, a logo, an Instagram account, and perhaps some grandiose dreams swirling around in her head. Rumor has it she's even interviewing potential CEOs.
Imagine applying for a job at a company that doesn't exist yet – must be skilled in deciphering Meghan's ambitions and adept at corralling cats. The turnover in Harry and Meghan's employment history could rival its own reality TV show; 17 staffers have bid adieu since their royal nuptials. If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is. But back to this phantom company...
Meghan's approach to launching a business seems to involve putting the cart so far ahead of the horse that it's in a different time zone. No CEO, no products, no problem – just slap up an Instagram page and call it a day. And let's not overlook the pièce de résistance: a blurry promotional video of Meghan frolicking about.
Because nothing screams "buy my non-existent products" like vague imagery and even vaguer business plans. And the cherry on top? This launch conveniently coincides with an important event for Harry. Because why not steal the spotlight with... well, nothing. It's like announcing the opening of a restaurant when all you have is a picture of a burger.
Now, let's not forget the Netflix debacle. Meghan's supposed array of shows in production has yielded precisely nothing. It's all smoke and mirrors, folks. The only thing being produced here is a masterclass in how not to launch a business. Meghan's ambitions to become the next Martha Stewart are about as grounded as a unicorn farm. The irony is palpable; she's taking shortcuts on a path leading straight into a labyrinth of public skepticism and side-eyes. This entire operation is a shambles, a case study in how not to build a brand. It's a brand of air, a whisper of a promise that delivers nothing but a fog of confusion.
So, as we watch this spectacle unfold, let's remember that in Meghan's make-believe mogul world, chaos is the only constant, served with a side of empty promises. In the end, the scammers peddling fake goods might just have a more tangible business plan than the duchess herself.
