Prince Harry's lucrative four-book deal with Penguin Random House was initially hailed as a monumental achievement, but in hindsight, it now seems to have aged as poorly as milk left out in the sun.
This deal, reportedly worth a staggering £40 million, saw Harry pocket £20 million for his memoir Spare, which made headlines for becoming the fastest-selling memoir of all time. However, nearly two years later, the big question remains: where are the other three books? The deal was expected to include a book on leadership in charities, a wellness guide authored by Meghan Markle (because, of course, who doesn’t want life advice from her?), and a mysterious novel rumored to focus on something cryptic, possibly even involving intrigue. But here we are, two years later, with no updates, no manuscripts, and a plethora of unanswered questions.
PR teams are left scrambling, clutching their pearls and empty pockets, as they wonder whether Harry and Meghan skipped town with the advance money.
Let’s talk about Spare. While it shattered sales records on its first day, moving 1.4 million copies, the reality of its success is far murkier. While it did set a record, local supermarkets were quick to pile Spare into discount bins, selling it for a mere £5 per copy shortly after its release. Thrift stores, overwhelmed by unsold stock, reportedly refused donations, a clear sign of the book's waning appeal. To top it off, Spare was named the most returned book of 2023, an embarrassing distinction for what was meant to be a literary triumph.
Even the paperback release didn’t manage to salvage the book’s reputation—it flopped harder than Harry's Polo career. For a book that was supposed to be a bestseller, the hype around it faded faster than Meghan's podcast ambitions. Royal experts began to speculate that the four-book deal was never truly meant to be about four books at all; perhaps it was more of a “let’s see how the first one does” kind of agreement. After all, no publisher is going to throw millions of pounds at someone who doesn’t have the ability to deliver. PR probably had the option to publish more books if Harry could produce something worthwhile—spoiler alert: he didn't.
So, why hasn’t Harry delivered? Well, where do we even begin? Writing requires effort, and Harry has never exactly been known for his strong work ethic. As for content, it’s hard to imagine what else he could write about after airing all the family's dirty laundry in Spare. A second memoir would essentially be Spare 2.0, just a rehash of the same old grievances. Public interest in the book is non-existent, with many people feeling as though they’ve already heard enough royal drama to last a lifetime. The general sentiment? "Thanks, but no thanks." As for Meghan’s wellness book, it seems highly unlikely—unless she decides to title it How to Alienate a Family in 10 Steps. Here’s a possible theory: maybe Meghan is waiting for a divorce to launch her own tell-all, filled with juicy details about the Sussex saga—all without having to share the profits with Harry.
In the meantime, PR must be desperately hoping for something to salvage this train wreck of a deal. Penguin Random House has every right to demand their money back, as the supposed four-book deal has turned into a one-book ordeal, and the Sussexes have shown no signs of delivering anything remotely close to fulfilling their contractual obligations. Perhaps next time, PR will think twice before handing millions to a couple whose primary skill seems to be complaining. As for Harry and Meghan, they’ll likely continue to skidmark their way through life, leaving a mess behind them and wondering why no one is eager to clean it up.
