Meghan Markle has done it again—taken something that has existed for ages, given it a new name, and acted as though she deserves a standing ovation. This time, she finds herself in an unintentional showdown with Stanley Tucci, the effortlessly cool actor turned food aficionado.
Tucci, who has been educating audiences about authentic Italian cuisine long before Meghan’s lackluster attempt, introduced viewers to Spaghetti all’Assassina on his Emmy-winning series Searching for Italy back in 2022. The dish is bold, unapologetically Italian, and deeply rooted in tradition, making Meghan’s uninspired one-pot pasta look like a culinary misstep of epic proportions.
For those unfamiliar, Assassin’s Pasta originates from Bari, Italy, dating back to the late 1960s. It’s the kind of dish you could imagine being served alongside a gritty gangster flick—fiery, intense, and full of attitude. Unlike traditional pasta, which is boiled in a pot of water like some medieval peasant's supper, this dish starts dry in a pan, crisping in olive oil before slowly absorbing ladles of tomato-infused broth. The result? A smoky, crunchy, slightly charred masterpiece that delivers an explosion of flavor with every bite. When Tucci watched MasterChef’s chef Celso Laforgia prepare the dish on his show, even he—despite having seen nearly everything in the culinary world—was left astonished. His wide-eyed reaction and near-drooling response summed it up: "Honestly, I've never seen anything like that before." And why wouldn't he be impressed? Tucci respects the art of cooking, treating ingredients and technique with the reverence they deserve.
Then there’s Meghan Markle, who, in her infinite kitchen wisdom, introduced her so-called “one-pot pasta” to the world. The concept is so basic it’s almost laughable that it gained any attention at all. Her grand idea? Throw everything—pasta, sauce, herbs—into a single pan and hope for the best. It’s lazy, uninspired, and far from groundbreaking. While there’s an art to making a proper one-pot pasta—balancing liquid ratios, achieving the perfect creamy texture, and allowing flavors to develop harmoniously—Meghan’s version disregards all of that. She boils everything together, even the basil, which should add a bright, fresh aroma but instead turns into an overcooked, limp mess resembling soggy lawn clippings. There’s no char, no depth, no complexity—just a bland, uninspired dish that TikTok somehow anointed as "Meghan’s pasta." If that’s not a crime against Italian cuisine, what is?
Tucci’s approach to food is about tradition, skill, and deep respect for the process. His Assassin’s Pasta isn’t just a meal; it’s an experience. The sizzle of the pan, the caramelization of the noodles, the slow, deliberate absorption of sauce—it’s a symphony of flavors that pay homage to Italian artistry. Meghan, on the other hand, took the easy way out, labeled it "innovative," and served up something closer to cafeteria leftovers. If Tucci’s pasta is a Renaissance masterpiece, Meghan’s is a faded, pixelated printout from a dying office printer.
The bottom line? If you want pasta that excites your taste buds and respects its origins, go for Tucci’s Assassin’s Pasta. It’s rich, complex, and a perfect example of true Italian craftsmanship. Meghan Markle’s one-pot pasta, on the other hand, is a weak imitation—devoid of technique, depth, or understanding of flavor. Let’s leave cooking to those who actually know what they’re doing and relegate amateur experiments to Instagram stories, where they disappear in 24 hours—just like the fleeting buzz around yet another Meghan Markle misfire.
