Meghan Markle, the self-appointed Duchess of Relevance, seemingly believed she could add Angelina Jolie to her ever-shrinking circle of A-list friends.
After all, what global superstar wouldn’t jump at the chance to share an overpriced avocado toast with Meghan at her Montecito fortress? Except, well, Angelina had other plans—plans that didn’t involve being trapped in a conversation about self-care routines and victim narratives over a plate of salt fish and baked plantains. Just picture it for a moment, because honestly, the thought of it is more entertaining than Meghan’s entire Netflix documentary.
According to a blind item, Meghan extended an exclusive invitation to Angelina. “Oh, Angie, you must come over for brunch! We can sip organic wine, talk about humanitarian efforts, and I can show you my favorite drunk-girl recipes.” Meanwhile, Angelina was likely preoccupied with directing films, managing humanitarian projects, raising her six children, and maintaining an actual career—things that don’t involve sitting in Montecito pretending to care about Meghan’s latest media grievances. But here’s where it gets interesting. Angelina didn’t just politely decline; she reportedly shut down the invite in the most savage way possible: “That’s not ever going to happen.” The emphasis on "ever" truly sealed the deal—not now, not next year, not in some alternate universe where Meghan is universally adored. Never.
Realistically, what would Angelina gain from such a rendezvous? A PR headache? A People magazine headline declaring, “New BFFs Meghan and Angelina Take Hollywood by Storm”? Because, let’s be honest, that’s exactly what would happen. Within hours, tabloids would explode with stories about Meghan finally finding a true Hollywood confidante, as if Angelina would ever willingly sign up for that level of media chaos. Meghan has a well-documented history of gravitating toward successful, powerful women—until, inevitably, things get weird. Remember Serena Williams? Ever since she started spending time with Meghan, she’s been looking a little, how do we put this politely, exhausted. Coincidence? Highly unlikely. Meghan has an uncanny ability to drain the life force from anyone who gets too close—a social succubus, if you will.
For Angelina, the risk was clear. She has spent decades cultivating a reputation built on talent, activism, and independence. Aligning herself with Meghan would be like willingly stepping into a PR disaster. Imagine the headlines: “Angelina Joins Meghan in Fight Against the Royals” or “Jolie Becomes Duchess’s Latest Victim.” Hard pass. In the end, Angelina’s rejection wasn’t just a refusal—it was a statement. A clear declaration that not all A-listers are willing to be pulled into Meghan’s ever-growing vortex of drama. And honestly, that might be the best decision Angelina has made since she walked out on Brad Pitt.
