Meghan Markle has seemingly exhausted every possible avenue to maintain her relevance, yet she continues to surprise. This time, she appears to be taking inspiration from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop playbook.
Reports suggest she is venturing into the adult wellness industry with a line of sex toys and lingerie. According to Radar Online, Markle is determined to expand her brand beyond its current offerings, which include pancake mix and jam. After all, capitalizing on her royal-adjacent status to sell breakfast items has its limits. Naturally, the next logical step? Vibrators, of course. An insider revealed that Meghan wants a full range of wellness and lifestyle products, much like Goop, and has no intention of limiting herself.
She has, of course, devised a strategic way to roll this out—her upcoming podcast, Confessions of a Female Founder. The show is supposedly centered around female entrepreneurs and their challenges, but many suspect it will serve as a glorified advertisement for whatever product Meghan is pushing that week. In the teaser, she reassures listeners that these are “friendly waters,” describing the podcast as a “dolphin tank” rather than a “shark tank.” In other words, expect a soft-sell approach with soothing background music, all wrapped in an infomercial disguised as meaningful conversation.
The irony of Meghan’s attempt to “out-Goop” Gwyneth Paltrow is hard to ignore. Paltrow, the original queen of extravagant and often questionable wellness products—remember the jade eggs?—has actually been pulling back from the sexual wellness sector of her brand due to declining interest. Yet here comes Meghan, ever the trend-spotter, eagerly hopping aboard what appears to be a sinking ship. If nothing else, one must admire her unwavering commitment to irony.
This latest venture also raises questions about her philanthropic aspirations. What happened to Archewell, the charitable foundation that was supposed to define her post-royal identity? How exactly does selling candles with notes of stale perfume, cigarette smoke, and crushed flower petals align with her grand humanitarian mission? These are questions that demand answers—or at least some creative PR spin.
Unsurprisingly, comparisons between Meghan and Gwyneth are being drawn, and they are not exactly flattering. While Goop, despite its many eyebrow-raising products, has built a legitimate empire, Meghan’s business strategy seems to involve throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks. Adding to the intrigue, Paltrow and Markle were reportedly on friendly terms at one point. Now, Meghan’s latest “original” idea appears to be a near-carbon copy of something Gwyneth has already done.
And so, the rebranding cycle continues at full speed. Meghan Markle, once an actress, then a royal, then a Netflix content creator, then a pancake mix entrepreneur, now an adult wellness mogul. What’s next? A line of healing crystals? Motivational retreats? A Sussex-themed reality show? No matter where this venture leads, one thing remains certain: Meghan Markle is determined to stay in the spotlight, no matter the cost. If that means selling sex toys while maintaining a tenuous connection to royalty, so be it. It certainly wouldn’t be the strangest thing she’s done.
