Meghan Markle has unveiled a lifestyle brand that aims to exude organic elegance but ends up offering what feels more like cafeteria leftovers packaged in trendy tins.
It's called "American Riviera Orchard," but online critics are beginning to call it “As You”—a tongue-in-cheek twist on its tagline, “As Ever.” According to Meghan, the line of teas, spreads, and crepe mix is profoundly personal, intended to reflect intention, grace, and supposedly, flavor. However, those who’ve tasted the products describe them as overpriced letdowns wrapped in recycled tissue paper and vague affirmations.
Let’s start with the tea, because surely, that’s hard to mess up—unless you’re Meghan. At $12 per tin, which breaks down to a dollar per tea bag, you’re treated to basic brewing instructions: bring water to a boil. Innovative, right? Except any seasoned tea drinker knows herbal blends should not be steeped in boiling water unless you’re aiming for something that tastes like burnt lawn trimmings.
Predictably, those who followed the instructions ended up with a bright hibiscus tea that delivered on color but lacked flavor—one reviewer likened it to “neon purple water.” The lemon ginger blend reportedly resembled hot water faintly haunted by a lemon, and the peppermint was compared to a dose of nausea relief—convenient, if you’ve just ingested the rest of the product line.
Then there’s the crepe mix, which retails for $14 and contains little more than flour, albeit labeled “French Style” to make sure you know that crepes—yes, the French creation—are indeed French. Très chic, or maybe just très unnecessary.
The limited-edition wildflower honey with honeycomb, priced at a staggering $28, was promoted as a golden delicacy but mysteriously failed to arrive for many who ordered it. Customers received a grammatically questionable apology note that cheerfully said, “Thanks for celebrating with us.” The problem? No one was celebrating. They simply wanted their pricey honey. Adding to the irony, the note included a forgotten period at the end—an unfortunate detail given Meghan’s reputation as a calligraphy expert and supposed stickler for presentation.
Even the influencers, carefully selected and gifted cream-colored boxes filled with picture-perfect product displays and passive-aggressive affirmations, seemed underwhelmed. One commented that the raspberry spread was “too sweet for toast,” while another found it “a little sour,” a polite way of saying they had no idea what to do with it. Some suggested it was more suited for ice cream than toast—essentially calling it a jam that missed the mark. Put that on a crepe made with Meghan’s luxury-priced mix and wash it down with a mug of flavorless tea, and you’ve got yourself what could only be described as a royal breakfast of regret.
As for the packaging, it’s all muted tones and aesthetic appeal, but where’s the ingredient list? Any mention of where the products are actually made? Apparently, transparency took a backseat to pretty fonts and curated vibes. Because who needs FDA labeling when you have a former royal selling beige brunch dreams?
In the end, American Riviera Orchard—or "As You," as the internet prefers—might be the perfect choice if you enjoy shelling out luxury prices for items that deliver more disappointment than delight. It’s beige on the outside, bland on the inside—a lifestyle brand built for those who like their brunch with a side of buyer’s remorse.
