Meghan Markle recently launched a $14 spread that's been raising eyebrows for all the wrong reasons. What was advertised as jam is more like a fancy syrup—and not in a good way.
To make matters worse, someone allegedly found a hair inside the jar. Not one of Meghan’s famously long extensions, thankfully, but still, the presence of a hair in a premium food product is unsettling. Given the underwhelming quality of many things associated with her name, this unfortunate find feels oddly on brand.
The texture of this so-called jam is more liquid than solid, closer to juice than jelly. Based on images circulating online, it's not just runny—it practically slides off the spoon. The consistency is more like a smoothie left out in the sun, so the discovery of a hair shouldn’t be shocking. We tried to examine the strand in question, but it was embedded so deeply in the gooey mess, it almost looked like it belonged there. A long, unmistakable strand tangled right through the jar like spaghetti in fruit sauce—not exactly what you expect from a $14 treat.
And speaking of that price point, people were expecting actual jam—thick, spreadable, maybe even luxurious. Instead, they got something that pours like maple syrup. A reviewer even pointed out that it was so watery it turned toast into a soggy disaster. One bite and your crunchy breakfast becomes a damp sponge. Honestly, you’d get better results dipping your bread in rainwater.
Ironically, Meghan has said she doesn’t really do jam. She doesn’t even want it to be called jam, because “jam is my jam,” whatever that means. So, she’s calling it a spread instead. But a spread that pours like flavored water and barely clings to bread? It’s less of a culinary innovation and more of a kitchen mishap.
Online reactions have been swift and unforgiving. Some users questioned whether the product had been properly cooked, speculating that the pectins hadn’t set, which would explain the sloppy, watery result. Others noted it was nearly impossible to use, too thin to stay on toast without making a mess. Honestly, good luck trying to enjoy a clean breakfast with this stuff—it’s more liquid than jam and barely qualifies as a spread.
Let’s not forget the most disturbing part: the hair. Imagine enjoying your breakfast and suddenly discovering a strand in your mouth. It’s a disgusting surprise, enough to make anyone lose their appetite. For some, that single hair is a dealbreaker. For others, it’s just another reminder that Meghan’s latest venture might not live up to the hype. With a runny consistency and an unwanted protein garnish, this product feels more like a failed craft experiment than a gourmet offering. But hey, if soggy toast and surprise hairs are your thing, maybe this is the breakfast upgrade you've been waiting for.
