Meghan Markle might want to take a break from the constant PR stunts, as yet another exaggerated tale crumbles before our very eyes. However, there's no need to worry because Gwyneth Paltrow, the high priestess of Goop and the effortlessly superior lifestyle guru, has swooped in with a reality check sharper than one of her overpriced wellness crystals.
This time, Meghan’s supposedly organic sushi date with Hollywood A-listers is on the chopping block. In a recent Vanity Fair interview, Paltrow—Oscar-winning actress, lifestyle mogul, and self-proclaimed connoisseur of all things refined—was asked about her relationship with Meghan and Harry. Her response was a masterclass in passive-aggressive shade. “I don’t know Meghan and Harry,” she stated before adding, “I mean, I’ve met Meghan, who seems really lovely, but I don’t know her at all.”
Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Meghan spotted parading around Los Angeles, allegedly summoning the paparazzi for a sushi dinner with Gwyneth, Cameron Diaz, and Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd? The internet certainly thought so, especially since Meghan’s go-to photography agency, Backgrid, just happened to be present, conveniently capturing the supposedly spontaneous moment. But if Gwyneth doesn’t even know Meghan, then what exactly was that sushi night all about?
Let’s rewind to May 2023, when TMZ reported that Harry and Meghan had enjoyed a sushi dinner in Montecito. The report framed the outing as an exclusive event, subtly hinting that Meghan was using it to dispel pregnancy rumors. Paparazzi photos captured Meghan and Prince Harry arriving and leaving, all smiles, as if their marriage weren’t already giving off a "Titanic after the iceberg" vibe. Then Page Six joined the frenzy, breathlessly reporting that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex had dined with none other than Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, their respective husbands, and Whitney Wolfe Herd. However, Gwyneth’s actual Mother’s Day plans surfaced online shortly after, revealing that she had been busy celebrating with her daughter. The sushi fairytale was unraveling, much like every PR stunt Meghan and Harry have attempted since their post-royal exit. If Gwyneth wasn’t at that dinner, then who exactly was Meghan eating sushi with?
Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t known for sugarcoating her words, and her Vanity Fair statement wasn’t just an offhand remark—it was the kind of carefully calculated dismissal that only the rich and indifferent can execute flawlessly. “Maybe I’ll try to get through their security detail and bring them a pie,” she joked. Translation: Meghan and Harry are more invested in playing the role of royal fugitives than in genuinely maintaining friendships with the celebrities they claim to associate with. The remark dripped with condescension—security detail, pie delivery? Oh, Gwyneth, what a gift you are.
Meanwhile, Meghan’s PR machine must be working overtime, spinning faster than a Peloton on steroids. This latest debunking is just another addition to the ever-growing list of half-truths and outright fabrications that have come to define Meghan and Harry’s Hollywood era. By now, one would think they’d have learned that name-dropping A-listers in a desperate bid for relevance doesn’t always work—especially when said A-listers refuse to play along. It’s becoming exhausting at this point. Every few months, there’s yet another attempt to remain in the spotlight through high-profile associations, but Hollywood no longer seems interested in what Meghan is selling. And clearly, neither is Gwyneth Paltrow. If Meghan truly wants to stay in the game, maybe it’s time to stop name-dropping and start doing something of substance—or at the very least, make sure the celebrities she pretends to dine with don’t immediately dismantle her carefully curated narrative.
