Martha Stewart, the undisputed queen of all things home, garden, and lifestyle, is likely somewhere right now, sipping a perfectly chilled glass of Chardonnay and laughing uncontrollably at Meghan Markle’s latest attempt at playing gardener.
Meghan’s new Netflix special, With Love, Meghan, showcases her in an immaculately staged garden, but it’s nothing more than a poorly executed imitation of what Martha has spent decades mastering. The internet isn’t buying it, and for good reason. Consider Exhibit A: a throwback photo of Martha Stewart, fully immersed in the reality of gardening. Hair tied back, dirt on her knees, dressed in practical clothes, she wields a hoe with real intent, tilling the soil like someone who truly loves the craft. It’s the kind of image that exudes authenticity, a woman fully engaged in something she’s passionate about.
Now, let’s look at Exhibit B: Meghan Markle, delicately perched beside a raised garden bed, draped in a flowing linen tunic, adorned with enough jewelry to clear a small nation’s debt, and flashing her signature, almost-too-perfect smile. The entire scene is bathed in the golden glow of an Instagram filter, a picture-perfect Hallmark movie moment—except no one is buying it. Seriously, who does that?
Martha looks focused, lost in the moment, while Meghan beams at... what, exactly? The dirt? A worm? A whimsical gardening fairy whispering, "Smile, Meghan, the peasants must believe you’re one of them." No real gardener grins like that while dealing with nature. And let’s talk about her technique—Meghan, what are you doing? That’s not how you hold a trowel; that’s how someone holds a trowel when they’ve never actually used one. It’s like watching someone pick up a violin for the first time and immediately attempt to play Beethoven’s Fifth.
Martha Stewart, dressed for the job, radiates purpose. Meghan Markle, dressed as if she took a wrong turn on her way to brunch in Malibu, does not. A long, delicate linen tunic? Check. Designer jewelry? Check. Zero evidence of actual work being done? Triple check. Who wears an oversized floppy hat and pristine clothing to garden? That’s like showing up to a construction site in high heels and declaring yourself the foreman.
And let’s not overlook the plants. In Martha’s photo, there’s an actual thriving garden. In Meghan’s, we see what can only be described as a Pinterest-inspired starter kit, complete with rhubarb plants crammed together in a way that makes it painfully obvious a set designer, not a gardener, put it together. Anyone with real gardening experience knows you don’t plant rhubarb that close unless your goal is to suffocate them.
The difference is clear: Martha gardens because she genuinely loves it. Meghan gardens because she loves being seen gardening. One is real, the other is a performance. One requires knowledge and dedication, the other requires a production crew.
Let’s not forget that Martha Stewart is a self-made powerhouse. She built an empire from the ground up, perfected the art of homemaking, served time in prison, came back stronger than ever, and still holds the crown when it comes to lifestyle expertise. Meghan, on the other hand, is the princess of performative nonsense, bouncing from one curated endeavor to the next, hoping no one notices the lack of depth.
At the end of the day, there’s only one true gardening queen, and her name is Martha Stewart. Meghan can keep posing, keep flashing that rehearsed grin, and keep pretending, but the truth is obvious to everyone. Somewhere, Martha is laughing—and honestly, same.
