Meghan Markle’s latest attempt at staying relevant has taken a bizarre turn, this time through a culinary disaster thinly veiled as a St. Patrick’s Day breakfast.
In what can only be described as a desperate plea for attention, she took to Instagram to showcase her so-called baking skills. However, "baking" in this case appeared to be nothing more than dumping artificially green-dyed batter into a waffle maker and calling it a festive masterpiece. Somehow, she seemed to believe that these pitiful green waffles could compete with the regal and dignified presence of Princess Catherine, who, unlike some, actually spent the holiday attending a meaningful engagement.
The Instagram stories presented a breakfast that could haunt even the most adventurous eater. A waffle, haphazardly decorated with a kiwi slice for a mouth, blueberries for eyes, and a dollop of whipped cream masquerading as hair, resulted in something more reminiscent of a food safety warning than a celebratory meal. She claimed this was made "for the kids," referring to Archie and Lilibet, who, given the alarming color of their breakfast, may have briefly wondered if their mother was attempting to poison them. For herself and Prince Harry, the chaos continued with plain green waffles, topped with strawberries and cream—a wholesome family moment by Montecito standards, assuming "wholesome" can describe a meal that looks like a rejected concept for a food poisoning awareness campaign.
The timing, however, was the true tragedy. While Meghan was staging her pancake publicity stunt, Princess Catherine was effortlessly commanding attention at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, radiating grace and poise in her official role as Colonel of the Irish Guards. As Catherine fulfilled her royal duties with elegance, Meghan, self-proclaimed modernizer of the monarchy, was scraping down her waffle maker, perhaps simmering with envy over Catherine’s flawless public appearance.
There are levels to this game, and Meghan has once again demonstrated that she isn’t even in the minor leagues. While one royal was leading a regiment, the other was engaged in an unfortunate, one-sided competition against breakfast food, armed with nothing but a can of budget-brand whipped cream. The entire display left many questioning whether this was a genuine holiday celebration or merely another transparent attempt to grab headlines. This is, after all, the same woman who once boasted about feeding her children only the cleanest, most organic foods—yet here she was, serving them artificially enhanced green batter straight from a supermarket packet, finished with a generous squirt of aerosol cream.
It is truly something to witness an era where Meghan Markle believes a mediocre breakfast post can steal the spotlight from a genuine royal appearance. Perhaps next year, she’ll dye an entire cake green and claim to be 70% Irish. What she fails to grasp is that true royalty doesn’t have to try. Princess Catherine’s effortless elegance and unwavering commitment to duty will always outshine whatever themed spectacle Meghan dreams up next.
