Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez are preparing for what promises to be the most extravagant wedding of the year—a billionaire spectacle brimming with A-list celebrities, designer gowns, and an air of exclusivity rivaling a Swiss bank vault.
The guest list reads like a who's who of Hollywood and high society, with names such as Eva Longoria, Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Jewel among those set to attend. Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, along with Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner, have also secured invitations, alongside film moguls, supermodels, and the kind of people who always seem to land spots at the most prestigious events. However, one couple noticeably absent from the list? Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Not even a courtesy invite. Nothing. Zero. A complete shutout—just like at the Duke of Westminster’s wedding, just like at the Beckham wedding. Are we starting to see a trend?
Of course, in classic Meghan fashion, the story doesn’t end with their exclusion. Why accept reality when it can be reworked into a different narrative? Enter the Sussex PR machine, rolling out its familiar playbook: "We were invited but declined." Right—because nothing says turning down an invitation quite like never receiving one in the first place. The supposed reason? "Personality tensions." The claim is that they received a save-the-date notice but had to turn it down due to concerns about handling all the big personalities in the room. Conveniently, this echoes the excuse they gave for skipping the Duke of Westminster’s wedding—after it had already been publicly confirmed that they weren’t on the guest list. Declined? More like denied.
And now, in a move that surprises absolutely no one, Meghan is reportedly trying to secure a way in through another route—by asking Oprah Winfrey to be her plus-one. That’s right, Oprah—the same woman who hosted their tell-all interview in 2021, giving them a global platform for their grievances. Because nothing says class and dignity like attempting to tag along on someone else’s invitation.
Let’s be real—this wedding is set to be the event of the year, dripping in wealth, style, and actual relevance. Meanwhile, Meghan’s RSVP strategy remains laughably predictable: first, leak a rumor that they were invited, wait for confirmation that they weren’t, then scramble for a plausible excuse to decline an imaginary invitation. And when all else fails, there's always the trusty fallback—security concerns. As if Jeff Bezos’ multi-billion-dollar security team isn’t capable of protecting a former actress-turned-duchess whose wardrobe consists almost exclusively of beige.
Meanwhile, Lauren Sánchez—the woman actually marrying the billionaire—is likely too busy with final couture fittings and planning extravagant yacht parties to give a second thought to Meghan’s PR antics. She has a wedding to organize, one that will be attended by real celebrities, powerful business moguls, and people who actually matter. As for Meghan and Harry? They’ll just have to stay home with their children—whom they don’t seem to spend much time with when there’s a red carpet nearby. Maybe they can make an evening of it, refreshing Instagram feeds to see who actually made the cut for the wedding of the year. Cheers to Lauren Sánchez for keeping the guest list exclusive and elegant.
