Meghan Markle has done it again—taken something that has existed for ages, given it a new label, and expected applause. This time, it’s pasta, and the real star of the show is Stanley Tucci, the effortlessly debonair actor turned culinary guide, who showcased a far superior take on pasta long before Meghan’s watered-down attempt.
Back in 2022, Tucci introduced the world to Spaghetti all’Assassina, a dish so bold and unapologetically Italian that Markle’s soggy creation seems like a crime against cuisine. For those unfamiliar, Assassin’s Pasta hails from Bari, Italy, where it was reportedly created in the late 1960s as the perfect companion to gangster films of the era. Unlike traditional pasta, which is boiled in water like a peasant’s meal, this dish starts dry in a pan, crisping up in olive oil before gradually absorbing ladlefuls of tomato-infused liquid. The result is a smoky, crunchy, slightly charred masterpiece that practically slaps you in the face with its intense flavor.
Stanley Tucci, in his Emmy-winning series Searching for Italy, watched master chef Celso Laforgia prepare the dish, and even he—a seasoned food connoisseur—was astonished. “Honestly, I’ve never seen anything like that before,” he remarked, wide-eyed and delighted. Unlike Meghan, Tucci actually respects the art of cooking. He didn’t just toss some boiled basil into a pot of mush and call it a day.
Markle, in her infinite culinary wisdom, unveiled her own “one-pan pasta,” a concept so basic that it’s a wonder anyone found it worth discussing. Her version consists of throwing all the ingredients into a single pan and hoping for the best. Revolutionary? Hardly. Lazy? Absolutely. There’s an art to making one-pot pasta—precision, balance, and technique are required to create a creamy, rich sauce. But Markle’s approach involved boiling everything together, even the basil, which, instead of adding fresh, vibrant flavor, turned into a sad, overcooked clump of green resembling wet grass. No charring, no layers of flavor, just a bland, uninspired mess that TikTok somehow dubbed “Meghan’s pasta.” A crime against Italian cuisine if there ever was one.
Tucci’s approach to food is rooted in tradition, expertise, and, above all, respect for ingredients and craft. His Assassin’s Pasta isn’t just a dish—it’s an experience. The sizzle of the pan, the caramelization of the noodles, the way the sauce seeps in slowly, building layers of flavor with each careful addition. It’s the kind of meal that makes you sit up and appreciate the artistry of Italian cooking. Markle, on the other hand, took a shortcut and called it innovation. Instead of elevating a classic, she diluted it, bastardized it, and served up something that more closely resembled cafeteria slop.
If Tucci’s Assassin’s Pasta is a symphony, Markle’s is an out-of-tune kazoo. If Tucci’s dish is an original Renaissance painting, Markle’s is a pixelated printout from an office printer running out of ink. Ultimately, if you’re looking for a pasta dish that excites your taste buds and respects tradition, go with Tucci’s Assassin’s Pasta. It’s rich, complex, and a testament to the brilliance of Italian cooking. Markle’s one-pot pasta? A pale imitation, devoid of depth, technique, or any real understanding of flavor. Let’s leave the cooking to those who know what they’re doing and keep amateur-hour kitchen experiments where they belong—on Instagram stories that disappear in 24 hours, just like the hype around yet another Markle mediocrity.
